


Question: How many mathematicians from Cambridge have a pen pal working at the biological engineering faculty of the MIT? Answer: Exactly one.

by JaredKleinman



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, And they were pen pals, Canon Disabled Character, First Kiss, First Meetings, Getting Together, I promise, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Making Out, Misunderstandings, Oh My God They Were Pen Pals, Pre-Canon, but nothing graphic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 15:15:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30057444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaredKleinman/pseuds/JaredKleinman
Summary: Has someone already told you the joke about the english mathematician who was send to the MIT for a collaboration on a paper and also had a pen pal at the very same university but was too afraid to tell him that he would come to Boston?No?Well, then allow me to introduce Hermann Gottlieb and give you an understanding of the rather complicated situation he found himself in after recieving a particular email.
Relationships: Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb
Comments: 6
Kudos: 18





	Question: How many mathematicians from Cambridge have a pen pal working at the biological engineering faculty of the MIT? Answer: Exactly one.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MnemonicMadness](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MnemonicMadness/gifts).



> @MnemonicMadness, I know you have already read this but I reckon you're going through a stressing time rn so have this as a little reminder of not to overwork yourself and take a break when you need it <3  
> Good luck with your exams!

_From: colm@bpi.cam.ac.uk_

_Subject: Collaboration_

_Dear Prof. Dr. Gottlieb,_

_I am happy to tell you that you have been chosen to represent the University of Cambridge in the planned collaboration between the Dep. of Applied Mathematics And Theoretical Physics, Cambridge and the Dep. of Mathematics, MIT, Boston, should you wish to do so._

_The collaboration will include a three-week stay at MIT for joint research on the topic of “Differential Geometry of the Breach and The Physical Contemplation of Its Multidimensional Nature” all expenses for accommodation and travelling will be covered by the university._

_The collaboration between Cambridge and MIT has the potential of yielding great breakthroughs concerning the nature of the breach and the solution of the kaiju problem and we hope you are willing to provide your expertise on the subject._

_If you are interested in this offer please report back to me by the 20th of January at the latest and we will discuss further details._

_Yours sincerely,_

_Prof. Dr. Colm-Cille Patrick Caulfield_ _  
__Head of Department  
_ _Applied Mathematics And Theoretical Physics Department  
_ _University of Cambridge (England)_

  
  


“Shite.” Hermann Gottlieb says after closing his laptop and covering his mouth with his hands like it was the answer to all of his problems. “What in the bloody hell am I going to do now?” 

Under any other circumstances Hermann would be _delighted_ to be granted such a promising opportunity but as things are he spends a full thirty minutes tensely staring at his closed laptop before getting up and spending another thirty minutes pacing the room. After _that_ he decides to drink a coffee over the matter and then hopefully come up with a solution - he doesn’t. 

Hermann obviously has to tell Newton that he will be visiting Boston, Newton will kill him if he doesn’t tell him he will be visiting Boston1, if it were for Newton they would have met months ago2 but the big, frightening and absolutely inevitable problem of the whole situation is that Hermann most definitely and under any circumstances cannot tell Newton that he will be visiting Boston.

“But why?” one might ask.

The very simple answer to that question is that there are a lot of things Newton doesn’t know about his pen pal. Firstly, he doesn’t know what Hermann looks like. He doesn’t know that Hermann uses a cane and that his hair always looks bad no matter what haircut he wears, he doesn’t know that Hermann’s mouth is too wide and that he is too pale and that Hermann never quite knows what to do with his hands and that he tends to be a bit testy.

The reason as to why he doesn’t know any of those things is that Hermann very decidedly kept from mentioning them in any of his letters because he was afraid Newton might think of him as weird or strange or - and that was the worst of all - _boring_ and that he would subsequently end their written correspondence. Hermann would do anything in his might to not let that happen because against all of his better judgement Hermann had started to conceive quite an affection for his pen pal who was not only a certified genius but also awfully funny and a delight to talk - well - write to. 

And even though Hermann wants nothing more than to finally talk to Newton in person and see what he looks like and hear those overeager thoughts spoken in real time while they hold hands across the dinner ta-

He stops himself right there. He would love all of these things, yes. But he can’t even bear the _thought_ of Newton’s possible disappointment so how could he possibly handle the situation once it actually occurs? 

Maybe Newton doesn’t care about these things though, maybe Newton will like him despite of his looks and despite of his weird habits but that was too lovely a thought for Hermann to deem true. 

He can’t tell Newton that he will be in Boston in two months. He simply can’t. So instead of writing a letter to Newton, Hermann opens his laptop and types the reply to his email, ignoring the cracking of his heart. 

Two months later, on the day Hermann leaves for Boston, he receives three metaphorical slaps in the face. 

The first one he receives when one of the bus stations he drives past on his way to the hotel is named after the street Newton lives in. The second metaphorical slap in the face he receives when he has to pass the biological engineering building on his way to the math faculty and the _third_ slap almost becomes literal when he realises that he would have to pass said building every single day for the next three weeks if he doesn’t want to make a pathetic bee line around it which would be less of a metaphorical slap and more of a metaphorical beating for his own pride. 

He tries to keep his gaze straight ahead and not let it slip to the entrance of the building - and to his own dismay fails quite miserably. 

He wonders if he would recognise Newton if he saw him and comes to the conclusion that he probably would. If Newton turned out to have only half the personality he promises to have based on his letters, Hermann would likely be able to spot him from several meters away.  
That doesn’t make it any easier to focus on his way though and inevitably he collides with a stranger just a few steps later. 

“I am so sorry.”, he says but the man is already far behind him, running in the direction of the building. 

_Someone’s late._

Hermann thinks and can’t help but notice the white lab coat fluttering behind him. 

He crinkles his nose with disregard3 and continues his way to the math faculty. He even manages to get there without any further incidents and the other members of the research group greet him warmly. They give him the grand tour and Hermann immediately becomes fond of them all, they turn out to be just as dotty as him and seem positively excited at the presence of a new mathematician in their halls. 

He lets them show him the results of their research and they start working on it almost immediately.

After their first day they don’t have any final equations to present but they have nine different new approaches to their problem which will be discussed the following day, four entirely filled chalkboards, three inside jokes4 and a water bill for their tea and coffee they are lucky not having to pay.

It had been a very successful day and Hermann was perfectly content with himself when he left the building shortly after sunset. His good mood didn’t even falter when he passed the biological engineering building. Most windows were dark but there was one in the first storey, still illuminated. He could see someone presumably sitting at their desk doing some kind of paperwork. He wondered once again if that person might be Newton.  
If he had written that letter he might know by now. They might have agreed on meeting after Hermann is done with his work, then Newton would now push open the door from the inside of that cursed building and walk over to him with a big grin on his face.And they would recognise each other immediately and Newton would hug him, because of course he would, and this once Hermann wouldn’t mind despite of his dismay for public displays of affection because it would be Newton.

And then Newton would ask him how his flight was and how his first day at work has been and they would chat and walk to their dinner reservation at Menton and then drink a tad too much wine and hold hands across the-

_But you didn’t._

Hermann reminds himself and shakes his head to get rid of the wishful thinking.

_You are a mathematician. Don’t be irrational._

He winces as he realises that irrationality is in fact a very mathematical thing and starts walking faster. 

When he falls into his bed at the hotel, tired and exhausted he lets himself dream a bit more about what might have been. He falls asleep listening to the traffic outside and dreams of numbers and stained lab coats and chalkboards.

The next few days remain similar to the first one. They make huge progress together, they joke about things anyone who doesn’t have a degree in mathematics or theoretical physics would be incapable of understanding and drink unhealthy amounts of tea and coffee. Hermann also nearly runs into the man with the lab coat every single morning because apparently that person is not only irresponsible but also horribly tardy but he doesn’t give him any further thoughts. 

By the end of the week though they start to stagnate. There is a formula they have to prove in order to get on with their calculations but they simply cannot come up with any ideas and when they do those ideas prove5 to get them as far as reading a book about exotic insects.

They agree on meeting again on Saturday because there usually is no such thing like a weekend for scientists and when the fate of the world is at stake even less so. 

Hermann has been looking forward to Saturday but the moment he opens his eyes that morning things don’t go as planned. His hip is aching more than usual for a start and after a short and painful shower he very effectively manages to burn his porridge and spill his tea. 

Needless to say he was in a quite sour mood when he arrived at the faculty and even though the others were quite cheerful it didn’t help to cure him of the pain in his hip6 which leaves him testy the entire day. The others quickly abandon their cheery attitude as it turns out that they are still not making any progress. Around noon they settle for a quick lunch and then immediately go back to work with no results whatsoever. Maybe reading that book about exotic insects would bring them further after all - since the rate of their progress is a very clear and frustrating zero he might as well try it. 

Shortly before sunset he decides to go for a walk. One of their colleagues - Dr. Jansen, a very kind man in his thirties - has already left because a family member needed his immediate attention and they aren’t getting anywhere anyway. 

Since the day hasn’t been agonizing enough as it is, he decides to sit in front of the department of biological engineering with a thermos can of tea and try to figure out to whom of these people he had lied to. 

By Jove, he had even gone to the post office and asked them to dispatch his next letter somewhen next week so that Newton couldn’t possibly get the idea of him being here even if for some unthinkable reason someone spread the news of a new exchange mathematician at MIT.

He feels god awful about it but he had to make sure. 

Since it was still Saturday there weren’t any students in the building and even though some poor, dedicated souls were still working in the labs there were definitely fewer people around which made it a lot easier for Hermann to study each of them individually. 

After a few minutes a door is violently opened and - oh wonder - the disagreeable man in the lab coat is storming out of the building, ruffling his hair in something that looks a bit like despair mixed with a great amount of frustration. 

Hermann hopes the man would just take a stroll around the building to calm himself down but alas no such luck. He isn't surprised in the slightest when he looks back at how his day has gone so far. 

Instead of going for a walk the man sits down on the bench about half a meter from Hermann and rests his hand in his hands while bouncing his leg irritatingly. 

Hermann would like nothing more than to have his peace and quiet to properly wallow in self pity but he can’t help but feel a bit of compassion for the man next to him. Something must have gone seriously wrong.

He sighs. His own day might have been terrible but that doesn’t mean he can’t try to make someone else’s a bit better. 

“What happened?”, he asks and the man next to him startles. For a moment he seems confused as to why a stranger was talking to him but he soon recovers from his shock and gives Hermann the most exasperated stare he has ever seen. 

“They cut thirty percent of funding is what happened!”, he exclaims in a ridiculously shrill voice and Hermann can't help but find the man oddly adorable with his messed up hair, crooked glasses and flushed cheeks. 

“Maybe they did it because you are wearing your lab coat outside of the laboratory and run late every single day.”, he offers wisely and the other man gives him a piercing stare. 

“Very funny.”, he says not remotely amused and bites his cheek. “I don’t know why they did it, I didn’t stay long enough to ask.” 

Hermann notices that the end of the biologist’s skinny tie was covered in something that doesn’t look very healthy but he refrains from making another snarky comment and instead gives him a weak smile. 

“I think I would have ran too if that had happened to me. Thirty percent is _a lot_ .”

“I should have at least _said something._ I didn’t defend my work or my colleagues, I just….I just ran. I’m a coward. I shouldn’t even be telling you this, I’m probably ruining your day with this.” 

At that Hermann couldn’t stop himself from letting out a small giggle. 

“Oh, believe me, my Saturday has been just as awful as yours there’s not much left to ruin.” 

“Is that so?”, the man asks and raises an eyebrow, now giving Hermann a half smile. He can’t forbear noticing that the biologist is somewhat handsome. He definitely likes his hair and while his physique doesn’t seem to be that of an athlete Hermann thinks that the shorter build suits him quite well. He rests his head on his hand as he leans a tiny bit forward.7

“Indeed. Will you believe me when I say I burned my breakfast _and_ spilled my tea?” 

The other laughs and tries to fix his hair without much success.

“I think I do. But that’s not as bad as getting thirty percent of your funding cut so please continue.” 

“Well, my university sent me here in order to do some important research and as it seems I can’t make any progress whatsoever. They will be very mad when they hear of the waste of resources.” 

“Sounds like a lot of pressure.”, the other says empathetically and looks up at the sky. “Been there, I can tell you that.” 

“It is.”, Hermann agrees.

“Are you a doctor?”, the other man asks and Herman nods. 

“Mathematics.” 

“You sound British.”

“That’s because I _am_ in fact British” 

“What’s your uni?”

“Cambridge.” He says and then decides to be a little bold because he has had a shitty day and doesn’t give a damn anymore. And simply because he can. They are alone in front of the building, the sun has just begun to set and it was quiet and it smelled a little bit of rain. It all made him want to pour his heart to someone and if that someone was a stranger on a public bench in front of the biological engineering department he would never see again in his life then that’s how it’s going to be.

“I also have a pen pal who works at MIT but didn’t tell him I’d be here because I was too worried he’d be disappointed with the real me.”, he started and didn’t see the other men tensing next to him.

“And now I have to walk past this wretched building every single morning and hate myself for not telling him.” 

For a second Newt’s brain short circuits before flaring up again and filling his head with giant, red glowing signs saying either “Holy Shit” or “What the fuck” or “This isn’t happening” in varying order.   
He tries not to stare at the man next to him. He really does. Because this isn’t happening to him. No way. No way in _hell_. This can’t be Hermann Gottlieb. But how many mathematicians from Cambridge have a pen pal working at the MIT's Department of Biological Engineering?

Not that many.

Quite few.

One. 

There is exactly one.

 _Oh shit._ Newton thinks and gives his apparent pen pal another thunderstruck stare. _I just spent the first half of our conversation telling him how much of a failure I am. Shit. Shit, shit, shit._

He obviously has to tell Hermann that it’s him. Hermann will kill him if he finds out Newt knew it was him but didn’t say anything but the big, frightening and absolutely inevitable problem of the whole situation is that Newt most definitely and under any circumstances cannot tell Hermann that he’s the pen pal in question.

Why? Simple. Because if Hermann Gottlieb finds out that it is his valued friend who’s lost thirty percent of his funding and _bolted the fucking room_ instead of doing anything about it he would laugh at him in the best case.

Hermann is a highly intelligent and very, very organised individual and if anything he would probably despise Newton for his cowardice or for losing his funding in the first place. He has already made a snarky comment about his lab coat and being “tardy” is definitely nothing to impress with either.

Within five minutes he has managed to ruin every single chance of befriending Hermann in real life not speak of anything beyond befriending and his stomach drops all the way down to the basement and directly into one of their alcohol tanks so that it may be conserved for all eternity and remind other people of not rambling to handsome strangers about their fuck ups because said strangers could always turn out to be their absolutely dashing pen pal they have had a crush on for months.

Newt wanted to groan out loud but couldn’t do so for obvious reasons.

“Is that so?”, he says instead and wants to slap himself for this truly helpful statement.

“Unfortunately, yes.” , Hermann replies and Newt chuckles, nervously.

“Well...Maybe you would have been the one ending up disappointed.”, he says in agonizing irony. 

“I am a hundred percent certain that would not have been the case.” 

Newt’s chest feels uncomfortably tight at the statement. _If only you knew…._ He thinks and adjusts his glasses.

“You never know.”, he offers and then, for good measure: “Maybe he is incredibly short and does stupid things like wearing a lab coat outside of the lab.” 

Hermann turns around and gives him a very distinct once-over before smiling a mischievous little smile and saying “I don’t think that would be a problem.” 

Newt nearly chokes on his own spit. 

Did….Did Hermann just flirt with him? 

_He totally did. Oh my god. This is too much for me to handle._

Instead of coming up with a witty or dismissive reply he turns beet red and feels his jaw drop. Hermann chuckles in return and leans back against the bench.

_So what am I gonna do now, for fucks sake?_

He should probably tell Hermann to back off and leave him alone because that would be the sensible thing to do. He shouldn’t take advantage of his not-so-much-a-pen-pal-anymore’s unknowingness and he definitely shouldn’t - _Holy shit, does he sit closer than before?_

It would be so _temptingly_ easy to flirt back. To rest his chin on his hand and crook his head just a little and smile and say things like “I cannot _imagine_ someone would be disappointed when seeing you.” and they would leave the campus and go back to Hermann’s hotel room and have sex and _honestly_? Newt won’t be able to meet Hermann in person ever again anyway because he would hate him if he found out and maybe that one night would be nice to remember and cling to while eating irresponsible amounts of ice cream and projecting his failed love life on mediocre romance movies. But he couldn’t do that to Hermann. He couldn’t take advantage of him like that. 

He _shouldn’t._

But then there is a warm hand on the inside of his thigh, discreetly and very distinctly pointing out what exactly Hermann was hinting at and he watched himself from the outside as his body8 covers that hand with his own.

His body rests his chin on his hand and crooks his head just so and smiles and says “I cannot _imagine_ someone would be disappointed when seeing you.” and Hermann gives him a grin in return.

Long story short, they end up necking behind a pot plant9 in the foyer and it would be an understatement to say that Newt got swept off his feet. He is kissing the guy he has pined for for almost a year now and as it turns out Hermann is a _good_ kisser even if a bit out of practice, but since Newt must be doing an equally inexpert job he can’t judge Hermann for that. 

Hermann is sitting on the rim of the pot and Newt is standing between his legs with both hands wrapped around his neck. He still feels his bad conscience poking him in the back of his head but the kissing is too good to act upon it. 

“You guys do know that plants only shield from _view_ , right? Everyone can still _hear_ you making out over there.” 

They stumble apart and Newt notices Hermann blushing an adorable shade of red as he pushes apart the leaves of the plant to see who’s been interrupting them. He spots a very familiar man with a very wide grin on his face on the other side of the foyer. 

“Shut up, Tendo! Go back to your cables, you fucking nerd!”, he calls over but he is grinning at his friend and Tendo only laughs, giving Newt a thumbs up and a wink. “Stay safe, dude! And no sex in the lab you know what happened last time!”, with that Tendo leaves the building, chuckling to himself. 

Newt turns back to Hermann only to find him gawking at him like Newt had just committed a crime worth death penalty. 

“ _Last time_ ?!”, he breathes, “Please tell me you haven’t seriously had intercourse with someone in a _laboratory._ ” 

“Depends on how you define interecourse.”, he says innocently and if possible Hermann’s eyes widen even further.

“Oh my god.” 

“What?”, Newt laughs and wraps his arms back around Hermann’s neck and brings their faces so close together that their noses are nearly touching. “It was _insanely_ hot - and if it calms you, I was still a student when it happened. An undergrad to be precise. They almost found out who it was that knocked over a bunch of very expensive chemicals, but I was lucky.” 

He sees Hermann swallow, obviously torn between kissing him again and starting a very serious discussion on laboratory safety rules. 

Needless to say Newt hoped it would be the former. He could definitely get used to kissing like that, especially to kissing _Hermann Gottlieb_ like that, he would _love_ to get used to it in fact. But unfortunately he has this evening and maybe the night but tomorrow morning at the latest they would have to bid their goodbyes and never see each other again. And then there would be a lot of crying and a lot of pain10 and all because he couldn’t keep his mouth shut. But that was for tomorrow-Newt to figure out.

Hermann doesn’t kiss him but he doesn’t start an argument either because they get interrupted by Newt’s phone which was telling them that the Uber driver has arrived. They part with a sigh and Newt tries to fix his thoroughly messed up hair while Hermann brushes the wrinkles out of his clothes. 

When they leave the building they take a brief second to look at each other and Newt laughs a little because despite their best efforts they still look like they have just messily made out against a pot plant. He hopes their driver won’t mind.

Their driver doesn't mind. She raises an eyebrow and grins a little as she asks them where they would like to go and Hermann gives her the address of his hotel. If it hasn’t been obvious before it certainly was now: Two disheveled men driving to a hotel, the woman could probably picture very vividly what was going to happen there. He turns around and sees a very embarrassed Hermann sitting next to him who obviously has come to the same conclusion. Newt feels his heart give a weak flutter in his chest. He fights the urge to take his hand into his and settles for the decision to make this night the best Hermann has had in his entire life. He owes him that much.

After stopping in front of the hotel Hermann basically jumps out of the car and Newt follows, chuckling quietly. When they enter the hotel the lobby is strangely crowded and people seem to argue everywhere. They immediately go to the reception and maybe Newt is standing a _little_ closer to Hermann than was strictly necessary but Hermann doesn’t seem to mind all that much.

“I am Hermann Gottlieb, room 404, I left my keys at the reception before leaving.”, he says but instead of handing over the keys the receptionist gives him an empathetic smile. 

“Room 404 is it?”, the receptionist typed something into a computer and then inhaled deeply before turning back to Hermann. ”I am very sorry to tell you, Sir, that there has been a burst pipe and your room was directly affected by it. Our staff was able to carry your belongings into a spare room, you can pick them up there.” 

“How do you mean ‘I can pick them up there’?”, Hermann replies and Newt starts feeling a bit uncomfortable. “Why can’t I stay in the room?”

His voice grew noticeably impatient and Newt began to shuffle with his feet.

“You see, there were so many rooms that have been affected that we can’t offer everyone a spare room for compensation. We drew by lot and I am very sorry, Sir, but you will have to find another establishment for the night.” 

“Will I get the money back?”he asks and the receptionist once again looks something up on the computer.  
“As it seems the money has already been transferred back to the account from which it was paid.” 

Hermann groans and Newt can tell that there isn’t much that is keeping him from headdesking the reception. 

“Thank you.”, he says instead and turns around to Newt. Newt meets his eyes and sees a very pointed expression on his face even though he can’t quite tell what that expression is supposed to mean.

And then it hits him.

“Oh.”, he says and lifts a hand to nervously scratch his neck. “I...You want to go to my place?” 

Hermann nods firmly.

“That is...not a good idea.”, Newt says vaguely but Hermann doesn’t seem very convinced. He raises an eyebrow. “Why?”

“Because...it’s….terribly untidy. Yes. I haven’t cleaned my room in _weeks_ I would be very embarrassed if you were to-”

“I hope I will be distracted by something entirely else by that time.”, his former pen pal says drily. “I will go and get my luggage, wait for me here, please.” 

_This is bad._ Newton’s brain tells him helpfully as he dumbfoundedly stands where Hermann has left him and starts going through all possible solutions to that situation with a speed he was himself impressed by. 

Solution one: Running 

Hermann definitely wouldn’t be able to catch up with him but that would not only be _very_ rude but also possibly lead to very uncomfortable situations later on should Hermann decide to confront him about it. He does know where Newt works after all.

Solution two: Running but _also_ quitting his job as soon as he got home

Even though that _would_ solve all of his _current_ problems he would have to solve much greater issues later on and dealing with one mess by creating a bigger mess isn’t a very effective way of problem solving.

Solution three: Trying to convince Hermann to go to a different hotel

Sounds good at first but why go to a hotel if the much cheaper version would be Newt’s apartment. There was literally no reason to spend ungodly amounts of money on a one-night stand. And Hermann seemed like a left-brain-only kind of guy so there was no way Newt could convince him of anything else. 

Solution four: Tell him the truth.11

Solution five: Distracting him so much that he will neither recognise the street nor the house number nor his name on the doorbell nameplate.

That seems....at least worth a try. 

“Let’s go then.”, Hermann says and interrupts Newton’s highly scientific reasoning. He was carrying two bags of which one looked quite heavy. 

_You should probably ask if you should carry one for him_ , his brain says. 

“Do you want me to carry one for you?”, Newt asks Hermann and was promptly rewarded by the heavier bag pressing against his chest. 

“Very thoughtful of you, darling.”, the other replies and oh, if Newt wouldn’t give anything in the world to be called like that every day. 

“I would suggest we take the bus.” Newton says in one of his rare moments of foresight. “Calling another Uber seems like a waste of money to me. It's not that far.” 

Thank god Hermann agrees to that and they make their way to the bus station not far from the hotel. While they wait they engage in a quite interesting conversation about the breach and Newton almost fucks everything up when he uses an argument he has mentioned multiple times in his letters but thankfully Hermann stays oblivious and merely says: “Funny, my pen pal used to make the same point.” and Newton can only grin in return and say “Really? What a _coincidence_!” while hoping it doesn’t sound as artificial as he feels saying it. 

The bus arrives, they get on and in another stroke of foresight-ish genius Newt urges Hermann to get off the bus at the station before their actual stop.

As Hermann leaves the bus he cannot help but notice that the area seems oddly familiar. He can’t really place why he thought it is, he has certainly never been to Boston before and the darkness doesn’t make it any easier for him to recognise anything either. 

He keeps following Newt who seems to know where he is going and takes in the surroundings. That however doesn’t seem to be to the other’s liking _at all_ and soon Hermann found himself pressed against a concrete wall with lips on his neck, desperately attempting to mind the public display of their sexual frustration. 

“Eyes on me.”, he feels rather than hears the other man murmur against his ear before biting his earlobe and _god_ Hermann could seriously and utterly get used to this. The times he has been intimate with someone else were embarrassingly easy to count, not because no one wanted to be with him but rather because he seldomly allowed himself to spend time on something as unnecessary as dating or sex.12

But this was not half bad actually, and this man - whoever he was, Hermann realised he hasn’t asked for his name yet, maybe he should do that in the foreseeable future- was a scientist too, studying kaiju just like him only a little bit differently. He would understand if Hermann said he had to work longer, he wouldn’t mind doing research together instead of going on date nights and obviously he wouldn’t mind blowing some steam off together after an especially frustrating day either. 

He can’t have Newton, that was the sad and bitter truth13 but maybe, just maybe he could establish a connection with this man for the next two weeks. 

As Hermann feels a warm hand worm it’s way beneath his sweater he breaks the kiss and gives his new acquaintance a warning look. 

“Hands beneath clothes in a private environment only.” He states primly which made the other man laugh out loud. It was an adorably laugh, really. A bit higher than his usual voice and honest and Hermann found that he liked his laugh quite a lot. Maybe a tad more than he should considering that they have only known each other for about an hour and a couple minutes by now. He wondered if they could stay friends after this.14 The conversation on the bus has been quite entertaining and even though the man was _still_ wearing his lab coat Hermann found him oddly charming.

Before he can get lost in his thoughts any further, the man starts dragging him along by the wrist and only a few minutes later opens the front door of the house he lives in, while simultaneously pressing Hermann against it and kissing him senseless - needless to say they need significantly longer to get inside but it was late enough for a rather slim possibility of running into anyone else. 

After Newt has managed to open the door he drags Hermann directly into the elevator. _Almost there_ . He thinks and feels a weight slowly starting to lift off his chest. He’s almost made it. In a minute Hermann will be inside of his flat15 without being in constant danger of finding out who he’s _actually_ making out with. There is only one last obstacle he has to get past and that is the door to his apartment. The lock is a defective production and he has to insert the key in a very certain angle if he wants to open it which he can’t do when he is pressing someone against his door. So he will have to open the door very fast, fast enough to give Hermann too little time to notice his name on the doorbell sign. The elevator doors open and Newt takes a deep breath. 

He can do this. 

As soon as the elevator doors open Hermann finds himself in a tight embrace with his back against the wall of the stairwell - he appreciates his partner’s enthusiasm a lot, but his back does hurt a little from the collision with the concrete and he groaned against the other’s lips, only this time in pain. 

“Sorry.”, the man says with a devious smile and doesn’t sound sorry at all but Hermann finds that he can’t be mad at someone who smiles this deliciously shrewd. 

Newt releases him and turns to his apartment door. Hermann hears him fumbling with his keys as he tends to open the door which gives him enough time to take a look at his surroundings.  
Which includes the other’s doorbell sign. 

Hermann reads the name and for a moment his brain becomes an endless and asphyxiating void - then he reads the name again. 

And again.

And then he feels his knees give away under him and he braces himself against the wall to avoid sinking to the floor like a shot animal. 16

“Newton?”, he says weakly and feels like he is on the verge of passing out. From the rim of his consciousness he notices how the man that apparently is Newton Geiszler, his long time pen-pal17 , stopps fumbling with his keys and becomes very still. He sees his shoulders slumping and then - very slowly - he turns around with his hands stretched out to the side. 

“Eh….surprise?”, he says and sounds like a kicked puppy. 

The shocked numbness inside of Hermann’s mind turns into indescribable rage as he realises what this meant. What Newton has _done_. Or rather - what he didn’t do. 

“You _knew_?!”, Hermann shrieks and Newton startles like a child who gets yelled at by his parents. 

“I can explain-”, he starts but doesn’t get very far because Hermann is interrupting him immediately.

“No, you get to explain _nothing_ Dr. Geiszler! How could you _possibly_ do this to me! I...I nearly _slept_ with you and you...you _knew -_ how long? Since when? Since the hotel? I mentioned my name at the hotel.” 

“I-”

“Since _when_ , Newton?!” 

“You talked about your pen pal when we were sitting on that bench. I mean-”  
Hermann doesn’t hear what Newton says next because he feels his chest deflating and has to fight with his own body to fill his lungs with air. Is he having a panic attack? He might be having a panic attack. 

His dear friend just turned out to be the absolute worst kind of pillock and _oh_ he is definitely having a panic attack.

He watches himself from the outside as he looks Newton dead in the eye, straightens his posture and gives him the most disgusted look he has ever mustered.

“Do go fuck yourself, Newton Geiszler.”, he says evenly, turns on his heel and leaves.  
  
Just a few moments after he has left the building he hears the door open again. 

“Wait!”, he hears Newton call but he doesn’t listen to him. He doesn’t even turn around.

“Don’t you dare blame this only me!”, Newton yells and that _does_ make Hermann turn around because “How can you have the _audacity_ to tell me this was even remotely _my_ fault!”, he says. They are now both standing about eight meters away from each other on the pavement in the dark, faces only illuminated by the street lanterns. 

“You didn’t tell me you would be here in the first place! We could have met like normal people!” , Newt says and Hermann can hear the desperation in his voice. He doesn’t feel sorry for him.

“Yes but _I_ didn’t pretend to be someone else!” He raises a warning index finger at Newt.

“ _I_ didn’t try to sleep with you without telling you who I am!”

Newton flinches but almost immediately regains his composure. 

“I never pretended to be someone else. _You_ would have slept with someone you don’t even know the name of!” 

That stings. Partly because Newton is right and partly because now, hearing it from the mouth of someone else it sounded truly pathetic. 

“That is no excuse for what you did. With whom I sleep or do not sleep with and whether or not I know their name is none of your business anymore.” 

Newton takes a step closer but Hermann stops him with a death glare.

“Take _one_ step closer, Geiszler, and I swear I will hit you with my cane. Stay away from me.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you would visit?!” Newt asks and Hermann could hear something vulnerable and sad and insecure in his voice even though he was yelling. Hermann definitely doesn’t feel sorry for him.18

“Didn’t you _want_ to meet me?! Was it something I _said_ !? You said you were afraid I would be disappointed, Hermann, what did I _say_ that made you think I could be disappointed with you?! For the love of god, _talk to me_ !”

Something snaps inside of Hermann. He doesn’t know what it is, but he feels words falling out of mouth before he has thought about them and he can’t remember the last time _that_ has happened. 

“Maybe I did it because I felt insecure!”, he yells back. “Maybe I didn’t tell you because I thought so highly of you that I couldn’t convince myself you would be glad to see the actual version of Hermann Gottlieb! Maybe I couldn’t bear the thought of losing my best friend!”19

“Well, newsflash, asshole!”, Newt shouts and now does cross the distance if only to poke Hermann in the chest with his index finger. “I have been in love with you the entire goddamn time! I have been in love with letter-Hermann _and_ actual-Hermann and _oh_ did it cross your mind that _maybe_ just _maybe_ Newton Geiszler has insecurities too? Did it cross your mind that _maybe_ I didn’t tell you because I spend the first minutes of our conversation telling you exactly how much of a failure I am? And did it cross your mind that _maybe_ I think just as highly of you as you thought of me? And did it cross your mind that _maybe_ I just wanted this one night and maybe tomorrow morning - if I was lucky, if you would grant me the morning - to hold onto before never seeing you again because I was so convinced you would hate me if you found out who I was?” Newton lets his hand fall down to his side and Hermann can see a single, lonely tear run down his cheek. He fights the urge to wipe it away. 

“I am sorry, okay?”, Newton says after a few seconds of silence. He sounds defeated, tired. “I am fucking sorry. What I did wasn’t right but maybe you can at least try to _understand_ considering that your reasoning is pretty much the same as my own. You can go now. I won’t stop you. I guess I shouldn’t expect another letter...It was nice meeting you. Despite everything.”, he gives Hermann a broken half-smile and a shrug and turns to go. 

Hermann thinks to himself that he should leave. He should definitely leave. He should leave this man behind and forget about him and he should burn all of the letters he keeps in the box beneath his bed and he should go, go, _go._

But for the first time in his life Hermann doesn’t listen to what his head is telling him. For the first time in his life he listens to his heart. 

“Did you mean it?”, he calls after Newton and the man stops to turn around. 

“I don’t know what you are referring to right now, but everything I said was true.” 

“So you are in love with me. Well...Were. At least.” 

“Why are you doing this to me?”, the man asks, exhausted. “I think I am already suffering enough for what I did.” 

“No.”, Hermann says and realises that this might have come across the wrong way. “No-I mean ‘no’ as in I don’t want to make you suffer. I...We both should have acted differently.” 

“Okay.”, Newt says and crosses his arms. 

“What I mean to tell you is...I held you in very high regard when we were writing to each other.” 

“Yeah, I know. You already said so.” 

“No. I mean yes - I mean-” Hermann gestures with his free hand without even knowing what he wants those gestures to mean. He groans in frustration. _Why is this so bloody difficult?_

“What I mean to say is that I might have been...that I might still _am_ infatuated...with you. To a certain degree.” 

Even in the dark he sees Newton’s eyebrows rise to his hairline. 

“What degree?” The man asks cautiously and steps a bit closer.

“I am...I am in love with you too, Newton.” Hermann says and he has thought he would feel relieved after saying it but the only thing he feels is tired. He hears the other take a deep breath. 

“You are?”

“I have been for a very long time.” 

Before Hermann can say anything else Newton hugs him. Tight. Hermann has trouble breathing but in this very moment he cannot care less about something as insignificant as oxygen. He wraps his arms around the smaller man and buries his face in Newton’s shoulder. And they cry and laugh simultaneously and it’s the best thing Hermann has experienced in his entire life. 

“Holy shit.” Newt says eventually, still not letting go of him. “I can’t believe that you are actually in love with me.” 

“Of course I am, you daft man.” Hermann replies softly and smiles against the fabric of Newton’s lab coat.  
“Even despite the fact that I am super short and wear glasses and do stupid things like wearing a lab coat outside of the lab?” 

“Never despite.”, Hermann says and loosens their embrace a little in order to look Newt in the eye and give him a smile. Newt grins in return and _oh_ , if that isn’t the most beautiful thing Hermann has ever seen. Their first meeting definitely didn’t go the way he has imagined it but now they are here and they have to make the best of their situation - and so Hermann lowers his head and kisses Newton on the lips in the middle of an abandoned street at eleven o’clock in the afternoon and he is cold and his leg hurts and Newt’s glasses are kind of in the way but he shall be damned if it isn’t the best kiss he has ever had. 

When they part Newton asks if he wants to come inside after all and Hermann says yes20 and “Oh, that’s good, because you kind of left your bags in front of my door.” and in the morning he wakes to the smell of burnt pan cakes which taste absolutely atrocious but he is happy and they are holding hands across the breakfast table and maybe, Hermann thinks, that’s all he needs. 

* * *

  
  
  
  
  
  


  1. because he will be visiting Boston. An offer like that from the head of the department is not a question even if it sounds like one. It’s a very polite order and Hermann better follows it if he doesn’t want his career to end like a tortoise in a swimming pool
  2. if it wasn’t for the geographical distance
  3. Because that is certainly not in accordance to the laboratory safety rules and if a knows more about this than the person actually working in the lab does, they should truly reconsider their major, phd or whatever degree they aim for, thank you very much.
  4. Why did you come down here? They are inside jokes. In a group of mathematicians. Did you really think you’d understand them?
  5. Hah.
  6. He doesn’t want to take painkillers because he tends to get a little blurry minded and he needs all of his mental capability for this proof.
  7. In his defence: It has been a while, he is frustrated and he needs to blow off some steam. If the other man doesn’t return his efforts he will very likely never see him again as soon as he leaves the city so there is not much to lose in this situation.
  8. Listen. Newt is a simple man. If there is a ridiculously hot man touching the inside of his thigh there is only so much brain capacity left to make rational decisions with.
  9. which very conveniently shields them from the view of anyone who was quickly entering or leaving the building without paying too much attention to their surroundings.
  10. On his sind mind you.
  11. ahahahaha-no way in hell.
  12. At least unnecessary in comparison to giant alien monsters attacking their planet.
  13. Because he has put Newton so far up on a pedestal that he forgot how to reach it and that is something he would never ever admit to himself but that doesn’t make it any less true.
  14. He _hoped _they would stay friends after this.__
  15.   
And hopefully also inside something else ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
  16. In his defence: He very much feels like one
  17. and first love
  18. He feels a little sorry for him
  19. My _only _friend he doesn't say__
  20. Because _of course _he says yes.__




End file.
